Costa Rica Will Never Have Real Addresses, Presidential Candidate Promises

Read my lips: No New Street Names”

José María Figueres, a presidential hopeful for 2022, assured Costa Ricans on Monday that he has no plans to change the country’s highly efficient address system, an announcement celebrated by attendees of the press conference held 80 meters north and 25 meters east of the Musmanni bakery in the Zapote neighborhood of San José.

In a first public appearance since announcing his candidacy, Figueres, son of national hero Don Pepe Figueres, guaranteed Costa Ricans that the principles instilled in the nation by his father will remain intact if elected president next year.

“My father built this country on three solid foundations: education, healthcare and an address system of reliable landmarks such as trees, shoe stores, old cathedrals and approximate distances,” Figueres said. “We’re not a pretentious nation and we’re not going to adopt some new-fangled 19th century address scheme of numbered and named streets, lanes, avenues, and especially not boulevards.”

The announcement was also well received by the Anti-Addressers group, which alleges that putting names on streets and numbers on homes has been linked to autism, acid reflux and polio.

Karen Mora Arias Vargas Araya, leader of the Anti-Addressers, spoke with El Peji from the group’s headquarters, located in a warehouse 75 meters east of a factory that closed in 1971.

“I was born and raised 50 meters north of an old sycamore tree and 150 meters west of a gasoline station that is no longer there,” she said. “And I plan to die más o menos in that same location.”

Prototype of new street signs proposed by Figueres

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