Country on verge of collapse as citizens refuse to leave homes with unkempt, un-lacquered hair SAN JOSE – Costa Rica’s worst hair gel shortage in decades reached a tipping point last night as 11 people were killed and 36 more were injured after violent mobs besieged the Max X Menos supermercado in San Pedro on…
Company claims indigenous communities sustained diets of maiz, tortillas and McRibs CHICHEN ITZA — In a continued effort by McDonald’s to prove that “tamales are a thing of the past,” which the company advertised earlier this month, the U.S. food chain has opened locations at famed Aztec and Mayan sites of Teotihuacan and Chichen Itza,…
Costa Rican Fire department arrives at scene in record 4 hours SAN PEDRO — A polaco, or ambulatory street vendor, was rescued by the Montes de Oca Fire Department yesterday after his head was wedged between the bars of a residence while incessantly yelling the common Costa Rican greeting “Upe!” in an attempt to sell…
Ticos hold candlelight vigils at abandoned restaurants to honor “Guendy” SAN JOSE — Costa Ricans everywhere will hold a moment of silence today to honor the exit of popular Unitedstatesian restaurant Wendy’s after the hamburger franchise up and abandoned the Central American country, leaving behind a trail of tears and unrealized Bahhhconator orders. Almost overnight, all 10…
Gringo instructor adamant class loves him HEREDIA – A business English language class at Intel Inc. unanimously agreed in a recent questionnaire that teacher Bryan McNutt’s two strongest abilities are being a painfully oblivious gringo and poor wardrobe choices. The group of six, who requested their names be withheld, filled-out the survey about their teacher after complaints were…
Yoga pants are the future, not technology, Chinchilla says HEREDIA – Days after Intel Corp. announced it would pull the majority of its operations from Costa Rica, the country inked a deal with Lululemon in an effort to become the world’s premier producer of unreasonably tight yoga pants, President Laura Chinchilla said. “Technology is a…
“I never see nothing so big and white before” MEXICO CITY — Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto mistook Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper for a polar bear yesterday during a meeting between the two heads of state to discuss North American collaboration at Mexico’s Los Pinos Presidential Palace. When Harper stepped off of his presidential plane yesterday,…
“I’ve sold rotten fruit for years, selling garbage stocks should be no problem’’ SAN JOSE – Roy Porras, a church-going family man from Barrio Mexico, shuttered his fruit stand for a final time Monday night, hours before jumping town to pursue his newfound dream of becoming an empty millionaire with a lavish life chock-full of…
Couldn’t deceive customers anymore with the overused expression PLAZA VIQUEZ – Oscar Morales, a 20-year veteran of the Plaza Viquez feria in San Jose, finally cracked last week when he bravely became the first vendor in Costa Rican history to use the phrase “Solo mas o menos” when trying to entice customers to his onion cart.…
Most of 2013 winnings went down toilet, lottery organizers say SAN JOSE – Guadelupe Martinez became the latest lottery winner to fall into depression when she learned this week that her anticipated jackpot winnings were lost due to Gordo Navideño’s rampant – and no longer secret – bulimia problem. Martinez, who won the ¢1.2 million Gordo…
El Pejibaye 