This issue’s M.O.T.W. is Chepe’s favorite son Lucas “la lechuga” Ugalde. Lucas is an outdoorsy type who doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty. His hobbies include public urination, collecting shreds of cardboard boxes, and sprawling out, unconscious, in the middle of the sidewalk. At the moment, Ugalde is between jobs and homes. He’s currently staying at…
Inspired by Sochi, brothers plan to ride banana leaf to 2018 Games TURRIALBA – Alvaro and Esteylor Cortez will have one word on their minds the next four years: Pyeongchang. Though they can’t pronounce the word, the Turrialba-born brothers, inspired by NBC broadcasts and Youtube videos of the Sochi games, are determined to become the…
“I never see nothing so big and white before” MEXICO CITY — Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto mistook Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper for a polar bear yesterday during a meeting between the two heads of state to discuss North American collaboration at Mexico’s Los Pinos Presidential Palace. When Harper stepped off of his presidential plane yesterday,…
LA SABANA — A fight between fans of soccer clubs La Liga and Cartago was ruled a tie by league officials this morning, as the raucous events in the stands turned out to be as boring as the game on the pitch. During the game at the National Stadium yesterday, play was halted as members of each…
Striving to break personal V-Day best CHEPE — After going on four successful dates so far today, exhausted Zapote resident Angel Hernandez has stopped in at home to recharge his mental and cellphone batteries before venturing out to meet a fifth different guila. Hernandez, a 25-year-old unemployed entrepreneur, had been choreographing today’s agenda since last year’s…
“He didn’t even pick up the check,” Tica says TERRAMALL – Raquel Mayorga has sworn off ever dating an extrañjero again after her gringo Valentine’s Day date died in his sleep at Terramall’s Tintos y Blancos restaurant Thursday night and failed to pick up the ₡40,000 tab. According to Mayorga, she met Garrett Utley, a 28-year old from Ft. Lauderdale, at…
Paid-off TSE employees said they confused PLN with PAC, PUSC, and PASE SAN JOSE — Costa Rica’s unemployment rate shot up an entire percentage this week after Presidential candidate Johnny Araya fired hundreds of TSE workers he’d employed to rig the Feb. 2 elections. Araya, who finished a surprise second in the presidential voting to…
“I’ve sold rotten fruit for years, selling garbage stocks should be no problem’’ SAN JOSE – Roy Porras, a church-going family man from Barrio Mexico, shuttered his fruit stand for a final time Monday night, hours before jumping town to pursue his newfound dream of becoming an empty millionaire with a lavish life chock-full of…
This week’s M.O.T.W. is former Costa Rican presidential candidate José María Villalta. The Broad Front Party leader is 36 years old, lives in a group home in La Uruca, and notes his favorite book as George Orwell’s 1984. Not taking the election loss well, Villalta has been on a week long binger. Family members stated…
Hires stand-ins to make public appearances while candidate curbs hangover SAN JOSE — According to various reports, PLN candidate and presidential favorite Johnny Araya missed all scheduled morning appearances after an “epic noche” bar hopping across chepe. Various sources have told El Pejibaye that Araya was seen last night chugging Olaffos at Caccios, shooting spitballs from…
El Pejibaye 