Discovery of Liguista gene may lead to preselected football fandom in the womb SAN JOSÉ — A team of geneticists from the University of Costa Rica announced this week that they have identified the gene responsible for Liguitism, or the condition of being a Liguista, and suspect the discovery will one day allow for programming of…
Costa Rica Archdiocese gives Navas “Express Canonization” following miracle save against Lionel Messi CARTAGO – Costa Rica’s Archdiocese announced yesterday that star goalkeeper Keylor Navas would replace La Negrita as the country’s patron saint given his continued performance of incomprehensible miracles. Navas, the Real Madrid keeper rumored to possess divine powers since the 2014 World…
Also plans to sport Beast Mode apparel at press conferences WASHINGTON D.C. — Inspired by the obstinate behavior of Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch in recent weeks, U.S. President Barack Obama will grab his crotch for the remainder of his administration when criticized by Republicans on health care reform, Cuba relations, Syria or free…
Moments after failing to reach final round of Miss Universe competition, Costa Rica’s Karina Ramos urges destabilization, government overthrow on Twitter MIAMI — Costa Rica’s Karina Ramos, anticipated to be a finalist in Miss Universe pageant, has taken to social media to launch a “Costa Rican spring” to overthrow the Central American country’s government after being…
Nets sign Araya to 10-Day contract to be first “Openly Fat Former Latin American Presidential Failure” BROOKLYN – Former Costa Rican Presidential hopeful Johnny Araya announced recently that he was leaving his political life behind to play for the Brooklyn Nets, despite the fact that he is both short and fat. Araya, who dropped out…
Inspired by Sochi, brothers plan to ride banana leaf to 2018 Games TURRIALBA – Alvaro and Esteylor Cortez will have one word on their minds the next four years: Pyeongchang. Though they can’t pronounce the word, the Turrialba-born brothers, inspired by NBC broadcasts and Youtube videos of the Sochi games, are determined to become the…
LA SABANA — A fight between fans of soccer clubs La Liga and Cartago was ruled a tie by league officials this morning, as the raucous events in the stands turned out to be as boring as the game on the pitch. During the game at the National Stadium yesterday, play was halted as members of each…
Top two candidates proposed change as both big Denver Broncos fans SAN JOSE – The Supreme Elections Tribunal held an emergency press conference yesterday to announce that Costa Rica’s Presidential elections will be pushed back a week to avoid a scheduling conflict with the National Football League’s Super Bowl XLVIII. Luis Antonio Sobrado, President of…
Any goals would be considered “Christmas miracle’’ HEREDIA – After zero goals were scored in a hideous display of appalling soccer in the first leg of the championship match between Alajuela’s La Liga and Club Sport Herediano, coaches from both teams promised fans that Sunday’s final will be equally pathetic. “Our only chance of scoring…
El clásico is set for today between Costa Rican soccer league king-pins Saprissa and La Liga. This is the third such meeting of the season, with the first being a 4-4 tie and La Liga taking the second match 3-0. Here at El Pejibaye we take our sports predictions very seriously. Today’s game is no exception. With…
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