Mae of the Week: January 10

This week’s M.O.T.W. is Puerto Viejo native “Monsta P.” Born in the town of Sixaola, “P”  — whose given name is Michael Connors — moved to the big city when he was 15 seeking better opportunities. Now 34, P has utterly dominated PV’s coconut scene, currently ranking as the town’s 4th most successful vendor who doesn’t own footwear. Though P…

Lululemon Hot Yoga Pants to Replace Costa Rica’s Intel Plant

Yoga pants are the future, not technology, Chinchilla says HEREDIA – Days after Intel Corp. announced it would pull the majority of its operations from Costa Rica, the country inked a deal with Lululemon in an effort to become the world’s premier producer of unreasonably tight yoga pants, President Laura Chinchilla said. “Technology is a…

Costa Rica’s New President to Sport Hipster Toupée

Solís shows off cool new look to appear more “Mall San Pedro” SAN JOSE – Luis Guillermo Solís will enter office in May sporting a sleek new wig to disguise his bald head and avoid being characterized at the United Nations as “el pelon,” the newly elected President announced Monday. Solís, who held his post-election…

Costa Rica’s Araya Drops Presidential Race to Join Brooklyn Nets

Nets sign Araya to 10-Day contract to be first “Openly Fat Former Latin American Presidential Failure” BROOKLYN – Former Costa Rican Presidential hopeful Johnny Araya announced recently that he was leaving his political life behind to play for the Brooklyn Nets, despite the fact that he is both short and fat. Araya, who dropped out…

Gringo Man Dies of Boredom on a Valentine’s Date with Tica

“He didn’t even pick up the check,” Tica says TERRAMALL – Raquel Mayorga has sworn off ever dating an extrañjero again after her gringo Valentine’s Day date died in his sleep at Terramall’s Tintos y Blancos restaurant Thursday night and failed to pick up the ₡40,000 tab. According to Mayorga, she met Garrett Utley, a 28-year old from Ft. Lauderdale, at…

Mae of the Week: February 3

This week’s M.O.T.W. is former Costa Rican presidential candidate José María Villalta. The Broad Front Party leader is 36 years old, lives in a group home in La Uruca, and notes his favorite book as George Orwell’s 1984. Not taking the election loss well, Villalta has been on a week long binger. Family members stated…