Entire country caught in temporal loop scientist reports SAN JOSÉ — Two weeks ago, at the International Court of Justice in The Hague, Costa Rica filed a complaint against Nicaragua regarding the military occupation of Isla Calero. At about the same time, the government closed the ill-famed Platina, the bridge spanning the Virilla River, with promises…
Sacrifice refuses to throw himself into the crater HEREDIA — Eruptions from the Turrialba Volcano continued Thursday afternoon, spewing even more ash into the air. The explosion is the most recent in the increasingly violent activity from the volcano. Scientists are concerned that if preventative measures are not taken soon, the entire central valley will become covered…
Our MOTW is Alejandr@ Mora. Alejandr@ is 24-years old and lives in Tibas. She’s self-employed, and says that she likes to ‘cuidar a sus clientes’. Her hobbies include shopping, evening strolls around Barrio Amón, and gender-corrective surgeries. Her favorite food is huevos.
San Jose’s “Gringo Gulch” and Jacó rated as world’s best spots to be an anonymous expat sleaze ball with no repercussions SAN JOSE – Traffic slowed to a halt in downtown San José today as drunk and slovenly dressed gringos took to the street to celebrate Costa Rica’s designation by think-tank Transient International as the world’s…
Country on verge of collapse as citizens refuse to leave homes with unkempt, un-lacquered hair SAN JOSE – Costa Rica’s worst hair gel shortage in decades reached a tipping point last night as 11 people were killed and 36 more were injured after violent mobs besieged the Max X Menos supermercado in San Pedro on…
Costa Rica Archdiocese gives Navas “Express Canonization” following miracle save against Lionel Messi CARTAGO – Costa Rica’s Archdiocese announced yesterday that star goalkeeper Keylor Navas would replace La Negrita as the country’s patron saint given his continued performance of incomprehensible miracles. Navas, the Real Madrid keeper rumored to possess divine powers since the 2014 World…
Study reveals “What goes in doesn’t always come out” San Jose — After decades of assumptions and rumors, the Costa Rican Medical Association (CRMA) confirmed last week what locals here had long concluded: There is no scientific evidence to confirm that Costa Rican women, or Ticas, defecate. The study, which was carried out over the course…
Progressive Pope’s first foray into online dating deemed “miraculous” MEXICO CITY — It was quite a week for Pope Francis in Mexico. He met with the President, held Mass at the Basilica de Guadalupe, visited the border town of Juarez and, in what was maybe his finest achievement, managed to amass 48,000 Tinder matches in…
Ticos hold candlelight vigils at abandoned restaurants to honor “Guendy” SAN JOSE — Costa Ricans everywhere will hold a moment of silence today to honor the exit of popular Unitedstatesian restaurant Wendy’s after the hamburger franchise up and abandoned the Central American country, leaving behind a trail of tears and unrealized Bahhhconator orders. Almost overnight, all 10…
1. La Sele: By far the biggest story in Tiquicia in 2014, and what will likely be the story of the century, was “La Sele,” reaching the quarterfinals in the World Cup and beating the crap out of everyone, including the human biting Uruguayans. The Ticos surged to a world ranking of 16th, their highest…
El Pejibaye 