Mae of the Week: January 10

This week’s M.O.T.W. is Puerto Viejo native “Monsta P.” Born in the town of Sixaola, “P”  — whose given name is Michael Connors — moved to the big city when he was 15 seeking better opportunities. Now 34, P has utterly dominated PV’s coconut scene, currently ranking as the town’s 4th most successful vendor who doesn’t own footwear. Though P…

Costa Rica to Install Scuba Flippers on Finless Sharks

Government unveils creative solution to rectify shark finning dilemma and improve recycling PUNTARENAS – Costa Rica has launched an initiative to replace severed shark fins with scuba flippers, a move that will diminish the environmental calamity of finning and make the ocean beasts more aerodynamic, Environmental Minister Rene Castro said yesterday.    Shark finning, a…

Lululemon Hot Yoga Pants to Replace Costa Rica’s Intel Plant

Yoga pants are the future, not technology, Chinchilla says HEREDIA – Days after Intel Corp. announced it would pull the majority of its operations from Costa Rica, the country inked a deal with Lululemon in an effort to become the world’s premier producer of unreasonably tight yoga pants, President Laura Chinchilla said. “Technology is a…

Costa Rica’s Araya Drops Presidential Race to Join Brooklyn Nets

Nets sign Araya to 10-Day contract to be first “Openly Fat Former Latin American Presidential Failure” BROOKLYN – Former Costa Rican Presidential hopeful Johnny Araya announced recently that he was leaving his political life behind to play for the Brooklyn Nets, despite the fact that he is both short and fat. Araya, who dropped out…

Mae of the Week: February 24

This issue’s M.O.T.W. is Chepe’s favorite son Lucas “la lechuga” Ugalde. Lucas is an outdoorsy type who doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty. His hobbies include public urination, collecting shreds of cardboard boxes, and sprawling out, unconscious, in the middle of the sidewalk. At the moment, Ugalde is between jobs and homes. He’s currently staying at…

Costa Rica Soccer Brawl Ends In Tie

LA SABANA — A fight between fans of soccer clubs La Liga and Cartago was ruled a tie by league officials this morning, as the raucous events in the stands turned out to be as boring as the game on the pitch. During the game at the National Stadium yesterday, play was halted as members of each…

Gringo Man Dies of Boredom on a Valentine’s Date with Tica

“He didn’t even pick up the check,” Tica says TERRAMALL – Raquel Mayorga has sworn off ever dating an extrañjero again after her gringo Valentine’s Day date died in his sleep at Terramall’s Tintos y Blancos restaurant Thursday night and failed to pick up the ₡40,000 tab. According to Mayorga, she met Garrett Utley, a 28-year old from Ft. Lauderdale, at…