Virgin Sacrifice Would Decrease Volcanic Activity Experts Say

Sacrifice refuses to throw himself into the crater HEREDIA — Eruptions from the Turrialba Volcano continued Thursday afternoon, spewing even more ash into the air. The explosion is the most recent in the increasingly violent activity from the volcano. Scientists are concerned that if preventative measures are not taken soon, the entire central valley will become covered…

Scientific Study Confirms Long-Time Myth: Ticas, in Fact, Do Not Poop

Study reveals “What goes in doesn’t always come out” San Jose — After decades of assumptions and rumors, the Costa Rican Medical Association (CRMA) confirmed last week what locals here had long concluded: There is no scientific evidence to confirm that Costa Rican women, or Ticas, defecate. The study, which was carried out over the course…

Facebook to Change Latin American URL to ElFahhhhhce.com

Company also mulling name change of WhatsApp to “Whaaaats”   Menlo Park, California — In a push to make the world’s most popular social media network region-friendly, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg announced today that the Latin American URL for the company’s website will be changed to ElFahhhhhce.com, a decision celebrated by the 400 million users…

Pope Francis Racks Up 48,000 Tinder Matches During Mexico Visit

Progressive Pope’s first foray into online dating deemed “miraculous” MEXICO CITY — It was quite a week for Pope Francis in Mexico. He met with the President, held Mass at the Basilica de Guadalupe, visited the border town of Juarez and, in what was maybe his finest achievement, managed to amass 48,000 Tinder matches in…

Costa Rica Ranks as World Leader in Flakiness, Report Reveals

Ticos sort of tell truth sometimes, but rank among world’s worst in bailing on dinner plans SAN JOSE — Ticos are the most honest country in Central America, according to Transparency International’s 2014 Corruption Perceptions Index, though still among the flakiest in terms of following through on agreed upon date, dinner or weekend plans, the report said.…

Costa Rica Observes Three Days of Mourning for Exit of Wendy’s

Ticos hold candlelight vigils at abandoned restaurants to honor “Guendy” SAN JOSE — Costa Ricans everywhere will hold a moment of silence today to honor the exit of popular Unitedstatesian restaurant Wendy’s after the hamburger franchise up and abandoned the Central American country, leaving behind a trail of tears and unrealized Bahhhconator orders. Almost overnight, all 10…