Costa Rica Will Never Have Real Addresses, Presidential Candidate Promises

“Read my lips: No New Street Names” José María Figueres, a presidential hopeful for 2022, assured Costa Ricans on Monday that he has no plans to change the country’s highly efficient address system, an announcement celebrated by attendees of the press conference held 80 meters north and 25 meters east of the Musmanni bakery in…

Couple Dies During Skydive Gender Reveal; It’s A Boy

TURRIALBA – Randy and Candy Wiggins died Tuesday afternoon when the couple’s parachute failed to deploy during a skydive that was intended to reveal the gender of their child to be. The Billings, Montana-based couple traveled to Costa Rica this week to leap from 12,000 feet above the rural mountain town in hopes of performing…

Mae of the Week: March 10

This issue’s mae is Chunche. Chunche is an O.G. from Higuerones, Alajuela, but is living it up now in the Heredian Hills. You can usually find him running with his crew, sniffing butts and murking squirrels, but Chunche says his favorite activity is trolling for perras. When asked if he’d ever go back to the street life Chunche said “Nah, hell no!…

Costa Rica Crashes Facebook Servers Jerking Itself Off

Ticos dislocate shoulders in nationwide circle jerk THE INTERNET – The Central American servers that handle traffic for Facebook, or el Fahhhhhce, crashed this morning as the entire country of Costa Rica was just reaching climax through self-admiration. Representatives from Facebook said the crash was a result of millions of posts and re-posts of videos, photos, and memes touting Costa…

Mae of the Week: March 2

This week’s mae is Luís Vílchez Díaz. Luís hails from Heredia, where he makes a living hawking Movistar SIM cards and bilking gringos out of money in confidence scams. Díaz’s real passion is music. He spends most of his free time with his band, Carne Molida, recording reggaetón songs in his sister’s garage. His favorite newspaper is La…