Lifelong Saprissista Finds Cure for Affliction through Gene Manipulation

Discovery of Liguista gene may lead to preselected football fandom in the womb  SAN JOSÉ — A team of geneticists from the University of Costa Rica announced this week that they have identified the gene responsible for Liguitism, or the condition of being a Liguista, and suspect the discovery will one day allow for programming of…

Mae of the Week: March 10

This issue’s mae is Chunche. Chunche is an O.G. from Higuerones, Alajuela, but is living it up now in the Heredian Hills. You can usually find him running with his crew, sniffing butts and murking squirrels, but Chunche says his favorite activity is trolling for perras. When asked if he’d ever go back to the street life Chunche said “Nah, hell no!…

Costa Rica Crashes Facebook Servers Jerking Itself Off

Ticos dislocate shoulders in nationwide circle jerk THE INTERNET – The Central American servers that handle traffic for Facebook, or el Fahhhhhce, crashed this morning as the entire country of Costa Rica was just reaching climax through self-admiration. Representatives from Facebook said the crash was a result of millions of posts and re-posts of videos, photos, and memes touting Costa…

Mae of the Week: March 2

This week’s mae is Luís Vílchez Díaz. Luís hails from Heredia, where he makes a living hawking Movistar SIM cards and bilking gringos out of money in confidence scams. Díaz’s real passion is music. He spends most of his free time with his band, Carne Molida, recording reggaetón songs in his sister’s garage. His favorite newspaper is La…

Mae of the Week: February 22

Our MOTW is Chepe taxista, José Dorián Alpizar, or Hodor to his friends. He likes leisurely, meandering drives through the city, and haranguing foreigners about Donald Trump. In addition to his skills as a toretto, José considers himself an amateur electrician when it comes to fixing la María. In his free time, he enjoys public urination and attending Uber protests. José…

Nicaraguan Soldiers Invade Coco Island, Hammerhead Sharks Furious

Incessant complaints give International Court judges chronic migraines Puntarenas – This morning, four men were rescued from a drifting dinghy and rushed to the Max Terán Valls Hospital to be treated for heat stroke and dehydration. They identified themselves as rangers from the Isla de Coco National Park, and gave an unusual account of being…

Virgin Sacrifice Would Decrease Volcanic Activity Experts Say

Sacrifice refuses to throw himself into the crater HEREDIA — Eruptions from the Turrialba Volcano continued Thursday afternoon, spewing even more ash into the air. The explosion is the most recent in the increasingly violent activity from the volcano. Scientists are concerned that if preventative measures are not taken soon, the entire central valley will become covered…

Mae of the Week: May 5

Our MOTW is Alejandr@ Mora. Alejandr@ is 24-years old and lives in Tibas. She’s self-employed, and says that she likes to ‘cuidar a sus clientes’. Her hobbies include shopping, evening strolls around Barrio Amón, and gender-corrective surgeries. Her favorite food is huevos.