President Refuses to Leave Bedroom after LaLa Land Oscar Upset

Emma Stone called to coax Solís out

San José – Luis Guillermo Solís has not left his room since Sunday night, after Lala Land failed to take home the Oscar for Best Picture. The President, a renown movie buff and Emma Stone fan, has been “bummed out” since the program’s finale, when the film was accidentally given the award only to have it taken away during the acceptance speeches, sources report.

“He was at the edge of his seat all night,” Vice-President Ana Helena Chacón Echeverría told el Peji. “When Emma took Best Actress, I don’t think I’d ever seen our Luisgui more thrilled.”

However, Chacón said that the President later went into an emotional tailspin as the correction was made that Moonlight, in fact, won Best Picture.

“He went white as horchata and completely callado,” said Chacón. “That’s when he excused himself and went to his room. He’s been in there ever since, listening to Radiohead and American Football on repeat.”

The President has tracked Emma Stone’s career since first catching sight of her on Drive in 2007, and is known for working praise for her “show-stealing” performances in Zombieland and Crazy Stupid Love into his speeches. Last week, Solís posted an invitation to visit Costa Rica on his Facebook page in response to the actress’ mentioning Tiquicia in an interview last October.

oscar“Maybe Emma will come visit this year, Luisgui. Won’t that be nice?” Vice-President Helio Fallas Venegas said through the door while holding a tray of olla de carne and some proclamations waiting to be signed.

“He’s not eating right,” Fallas told el Peji. “He’s come up once for air in the past 36 hours, and that was for a bottle of Code Red and a bag of Ranchitos.”

Solís has offered no official statement concerning his absence, but took to twitter this morning to attack the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

“Academy? More like acaDUMMIES! Did they see the same movie we did?!?! Calling shenanigans!!!!!” He tweeted with the hashtags #OscarConspiracy #ALL4EMMA #GoGoslingGo

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