McDonald’s Unveils Golden Arches Atop Mexican Ruin Sites

Company claims indigenous communities sustained diets of maiz, tortillas and McRibs


McChichen McItza

In a continued effort by McDonald’s to prove that “tamales are a thing of the past,” which the company advertised earlier this month, the U.S. food chain has opened locations at famed Aztec and Mayan sites of Teotihuacan and Chichen Itza, with plans to expand to sites such as Guatemala’s Tikal and Peru’s Machu Picchu in future months, according to a spokesperson.

“It’s a little known fact that MesoAmerican temple development was fueled on a diet rich of Sausage McMuffins in the morning, Bacon Buffalo Ranch McChicken or Quarter Pounders in the afternoon, and McNuggets or Filet-O-Fish at night,’’ company spokesperson Ronald McDonald said in an interview at the opening of the McChichen McItza location atop the Mayan temple yesterday. “The children of course, ate Happy Meals with maiz fries and ātōlli to drink.’’



McDonald’s, which has been losing popularity in the U.S. market, is trying to bolster its reputation as a company that has as much historical significance as the Spanish inquisition of the Americas or the imperial Roman empire, according to Grimace, who was visibly overheated at the opening of the site in the Yucatan. The McBurrito was likely a staple of the Spanish conquistador diet as the inquisition moved westward ravaging indigenous communities throughout the Americas, Ronald said.

“It’s time for the people of Mexico to have a deeper understanding of their historical roots and cuisine,’’ the Hamburlgar said as he sipped a McMichelada, a drink sold at the McChichen McItza. “McDonald’s had a significant role in the development of these ancient civilizations and we consider this really be a homecoming of sorts.’’

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