Costa Rica Soccer Brawl Ends In Tie

LA SABANA — Socer TieA fight between fans of soccer clubs La Liga and Cartago was ruled a tie by league officials this morning, as the raucous events in the stands turned out to be as boring as the game on the pitch.

During the game at the National Stadium yesterday, play was halted as members of each team’s fan base wildly threw slaps and violently hurled soft drinks at each other. After the dust settled, officials ruled the brawl concluded in a statistical tie, as each side landed one punch and it appeared one person from each team’s fan base received a scratch.

Arrests have totaled 55, with police crediting each side with 27. One fan with dual allegiances was arrested after throwing his wife’s purse at fans of both teams, pushing the final tally to 27-27-1.

As the brawlers violently swung and missed their targets, the players on the field initially stopped to watch. Two minutes later, however, most exited the pitch due to boredom. Others who stayed were seen checking their WhatsApp messages and posting pictures of the embarrassment to Instagram with captions, “Even we hit the target more than these payasos.” The 400 police deployed to the scene also elected to sit back and watch the fight instead of intervening as it was evident that neither side had much hope of connecting on any punch, kick or slap attempts.

One woman seen instinctively removing her infant child from the fight, claimed she did so to because the scuffle was so uneventful that it set a bad example for her three-year-old son.

“I couldn’t let my hijo see something so shameful,” she said. “He’s going to be a man someday and needs to learn to defend himself. Subjecting him to a pathetic display of fighting is just bad parenting at such a curious age.”

Police are asking anyone with information to come forward, but no one thus far has wanted to acknowledge that they were there.

One thought on “Costa Rica Soccer Brawl Ends In Tie

  1. Pingback: Costa Rica Soccer Brawl Ends In Tie | Politically Incorrect Costa Rica

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